Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 22)

Peter Marshall:  Every night before he went to bed, George Washington would always put his false teeth into something. What?

Charley Weaver: Martha!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is it possible for a man to get an annulment if he can prove that he was drunk during the wedding ceremony? 

George Gobel: Well, I thought of that, but by the time I sobered up, we had been married 23 years.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Reverend Billy Graham, what sin have you committed if you drink too much?

George Gobel:  Gluttony.  The neighbors say I ate their cat. 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the name of the small musical intrument shaped like a triangle?

Paul Lynde: Connie Stevens.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Elizabeth Post, does she think it’s a good idea to send out divorce invitations?

Sonny Bono: I forgot to ask!

(1935 – 1998) American recording artist, record producer, actor & politician
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If you see your dog chewing on the grass in your backyard, is that a sign that he’s not feeling well?

Morey Amsterdam: It’s a sign that he doesn’t like the grass in the backyard.

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What did James Watt invent after fooling around with his wife’s tea kettle?

Paul Lynde: James Watt Jr.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do you call a bull that can’t have kids?

Paul Lynde: Anthony Quinn.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?

Paul Lynde: They’re so cold!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Eva Gabor says she dislikes a particular word because it signals the end of something that started out so beautifully. What word?

Paul Lynde: Pregnant.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  In a recent TV Guide interview, Paul Lynde said that he has been cursed with something all his life.  What?

Charley Weaver: Four letter words! 

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Queen Elizabeth generally swings her umbrella behind her back, and immediately, something happens. What?

Paul Lynde: Lord Snowden doubles up in pain.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to flag ettiquette, how does a woman show her respect for the American flag? 

George Gobel: She picks up a sailor.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… cow’s horns are used to make ice cream.

Paul Lynde: You mean those weren’t chocolate chips?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can anything bring tears to a chimp's eyes?

>Paul Lynde: Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Traditionally, on Ground Hog Day, what is the ground hog looking for when he comes out of his hole?

George Gobel: Well, anything except a speeding lawn mower.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Fidel Castro recently gave Yugoslavia’s Marshall Tito a gift. What was it?

Paul Lynde: A cheap, hand–painted tie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, can you get anything you’ve always wanted in Heaven, if you didn’t get it on Earth?

Charley Weaver: Yes, but there’s an extra charge for the whitewalls.  

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Hamlet’s mother dies because she gets something that was meant for her famous son. What was it?

Roddy McDowall: A dozen roses and a box of candy

(1928 – 1998) British actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: The term SWAT originated in the Los Angeles Police Department. What does SWAT stand for?

Whoopi Goldberg: Some Whoop-Ass Tonight!

(1955 – ) American comedian, actress, political activist & talk show host
Hollywood Squares