Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 4)

Peter Marshall: Your sheep has a temperature of 102. Is she normal?

Burt Reynolds: People think I’m not normal because I keep taking her temperature.

(1936 – 2018) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If a women becomes pregnant while employed, is she now entitled to six weeks maternity leave?

Paul Lynde: Only if the baby resembles the boss.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false, Dan Rowan hasn’t spoken to either his daughter or Peter Lawford since their marriage?

Paul Lynde: I don’t think anyone has seen them except for room service.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re marrying a man who’s been married before. According to the book “Everyday Ettiquette, is it all right to wear a veil?

Paul Lynde: No, I’m just gonna wear a baseball cap.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Prehistoric man had two uses for sheep. One was for food. What was the other?

Paul Lynde: Conversation.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Billy Graham, is immorality contagious?

Paul Lynde: I know he was down with it for about a month.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Madame, is it true that people who smoke get rear-ended more often?

Wayland & puppet Madame: Hi sailor, got a light?

(1939 – 1988) American puppeteer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?

Charley Weaver: The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… most people’s attitudes toward strangers is, “Don’t get too close to me, I prefer to keep you at arm’s length!” [loud horn sounds to signify end the show]

Rose Marie: That’s my opinion!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Something happened to Marlon Brando in 1955, and afterward he told friends he thought it would happen to Bing Crosby instead. What happened?

Paul Lynde: Oh, one of Bing's sons asked him for money.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In Greek mythology, what would the god Morpheus do to you while you were asleep?

Paul Lynde: I don’t know, but I got an enchanted hickie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Billy Graham recently called it “our great hope in a confusing and ever-changing world.” What is it?

Paul Lynde: Pampers.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A recent hearing, opponents of fluorinated water argue that too much fluorine in a persons system can cause an uncontrollable desire for sex?

Paul Lynde (shouting): HEY CULLIGAN MAN!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can chewing gum help prevent a child from catching a cold?

Paul Lynde: No, but I know it’ll plug a runny nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Has a court ever awarded a woman half a million dollars because her husband was no longer able to leave her romantically satisfied?

Paul Lynde: All the jury had to see was Exhibit A.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie What’s The Matter With Helen? Who plays Helen?

Dennis Weaver: That’s why they asked the question.

(1924 – 2006) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: From what animal do you get silk blouses?

Paul Lynde: An animal to you, Peter, but kind and generous to me.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Better Homes and Gardens, Is it a good idea to give your yard a light sprinkle?

Michael Landon: … well, if you can’t make it to the house, I mean…

(1936 – 1991) American actor, writer, director & producer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Eddie, according to the Institute of Motivational Research, a wife should beware if another woman takes an interest in a certain item of her husband’s clothing. What item?

Ed Asner: Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind.

(1929 – ) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak?

Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?

Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares