Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 5)

Peter Marshall: Experts say you should avoid sex immediately after… what?

Paul Lynde: Surgery.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why are German measles called, German measles?

Mel Brooks: Because late at night, when you’re asleep, they march!

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A recent navy picture had Admiral Zumwalt kissing Admiral Duirk. Why?

Paul Lynde: Too long at sea!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What should you do if your parakeet has a temperature of 112 degrees?

Paul Lynde: Baste him!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Where would you be most likely to find climbing clematis?

Wally Cox: Right now, you’d be most likely to find him in jail.

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Would you be surprised to find some wood in your hot dog?

Paul Lynde: No, but I’d be surprised to find some meat.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the celebrated Masters & Johnson, there are about four or five thousand places offering sex therapy in America today. Now do they feel that most of them are doing a really good job?

George Gobel: Well, not the ones where you don't have to leave your car.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Good Housekeeping, how many years is the life expectancy of your lingerie?

Rose Marie: If you’re talking about wear and tear, mine will last forever. 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – rumors circulate in business offices more than any place else.

Charley Weaver: That’s false, Peter, and we’re certainly going to miss you around here!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re in an airplane and you’ve developed engine trouble. What do you traditionally say over the radio?

Buddy Hackett: What the (bleep) am I doing here?

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, in ancient Rome, bakers were required by law to bake something into each loaf of bread. What?

Paul Lynde: A Christian.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: How many movies has Vincent Price been in?

Paul Lynde: You mean, how many good movies?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas.

Paul Lynde: Yes. We call them winos.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? 

George Gobel: Hamburger

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: U.S. News and World Report says Governor Reagan has recently been deluged with a tremendous amount of requests that he do one particular thing. What is it?

Suzanne Pleshette: Retire.

(1937 – 2008) American actress
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’ve got a secret. According to psychologists, if you’re average, will you probably tell it to a man or to a woman?

Paul Lynde: If I tell it to a man, he might hit me.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Twiggy reportedly added an inch to her bustline while making (the movie) The Boyfriend. What does that make her bust measurement now?

Paul Lynde: One.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Karen Valentine made her film debut in a film called “Gidget…” Gidget what?

Paul Lynde: Gidget Gets Morning Sickness.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul, Gypsy folklore says that God created man by baking him in an oven.
Paul Lynde: [turns and looks at Black singer Leslie Uggams] Looks like you were overcooked.
[Leslie Uggams laughed so hard she was lying across the desk.]

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares