Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 9)

Peter Marshall: Paul, can anything bring tears to a chimp's eyes?

>Paul Lynde: Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the Bible, they never get old, and not one of them has been known to get sick. Who are they?

Charo: The Osmonds

(1951 – ) Spanish-American actress, comedian & flamenco guitarist
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  True or false – drinking can make you hard of hearing.

Charley Weaver:  What?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a Geisha House, now how did he spent his time in the Geisha House?

Paul Lynde: Oh, negotiating for “peace!”

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What is the plural of “titmouse?”

McLean Stevenson: Ooh-kay, got your mouse, got your meece and got your mice. It’s titsmouse… (laughter) titsmice… uh, (more laughter) titmice!

(1927 – 1996) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?

Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue’s a weirdo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Elizabeth Taylor recently stated, “It wasn’t easy.” And hubby Richard Burton added, “But we both sleep much better.” They were both talking about the same thing. What?

Paul Lynde: Separate bedrooms.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what landed “I know not where?”

Paul Lynde: Amelia Earhart.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… rubbing grapefruits on your body makes you sexy?

Marty Allen: Whose grapefruits?

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do most dentists say you should do with your dentures when you go to bed?

Charlie Weaver: Out at the home, we throw them into the center of the room and have a swap party.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Elizabeth Post, does she think it’s a good idea to send out divorce invitations?

Sonny Bono: I forgot to ask!

(1935 – 1998) American recording artist, record producer, actor & politician
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in the recent world kissing contest in England, two contestants were disqualified when they got too passionate?

Paul Lynde: But they went on to win in three other categories.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The Great White is one of the most feared animals. What is the Great White?

Paul Lynde: A sheriff in Alabama.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… George Jessel has a 9 year old daughter.

Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to an executive report of the Dallas Morning News, is a person ever too old to get his teeth straightened?

Charley Weaver: Well now, that would be my second choice.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Compton’s Encyclopedia, when Columbus returned from his famous trip, he brought Queen Isabella six naked savages, some animals, some plants, and something valuable. What was it?

Paul Lynde: I’ll say the six naked savages.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who was known as “Old Blood and Guts?”

Paul Lynde: Barbara Stanwyck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Traditionally, on Ground Hog Day, what is the ground hog looking for when he comes out of his hole?

George Gobel: Well, anything except a speeding lawn mower.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to a recent survey by Futurist magazine, what was named as the most boring job on Earth?

Vincent Price: Rose Marie’s social secretary.

(1911 – 1993) American actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to legend, who looks better, a pixie or a fairy?

Paul Lynde (in deeper voice): Well, looks aren’t everything!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Fred Astaire says, his mother has been trying to get him to do this since he was 35. But he hasn’t done it and says he won’t do it until he’s ready. Do what?

Paul Lynde: Move out of the house!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares