Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 9)

Peter Marshall: Does the Secret Service have any women?

George Gobel: Of course, who do you think performs the secret service? 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re a shy, bashful girl. According to Cosmo, will you probably be helped in overcoming your shyness by choosing an extroverted, outgoing husband?

Rose Marie: Gosh, Pete, I did that once and his wife caught us.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Tony Randall, “Every woman I’ve been intimate with in my life has been…” What?

Paul Lynde: Bitterly disappointed.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  According to Dear Abby, how long is the average honeymoon?

George Gobel:  Forty-seven minutes.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Dear Abby, it’s nature’s signal that something is wrong. What is it?

George Gobel: When your son starts waxing his legs.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can Jewish boys get into Boys’ Town?

David Brenner: No, but we can own it.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Burt Reynolds is quoted as saying, “Dinah (Shore)’s in top form. I’ve never known anyone to be so completely able to throw herself into a…” A what?

Paul Lynde: A headboard.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a Geisha House, now how did he spent his time in the Geisha House?

Paul Lynde: Oh, negotiating for “peace!”

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, according to the World Book Encyclopedia, what is the main reason dogs pant?

Paul Lynde: Because they can’t talk dirty!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: We’ve all heard the old phrase “A pig in a poke.” What is a poke?

Paul Lynde: It’s when you’re not really in love.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Arthur Hailey had a very successful movie and novel called Hotel. He has a new best seller about another stopover point. What is it called?

Charlie Weaver: Service Station.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Modern science can’t really explain why, but if you go outside at night, stand on your head, and stare at the full moon, you will notice something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: Yes, in eight seconds, rain will fill up your nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, who was famous for saying, “On King, on huskies?”

Paul Lynde: Queen Mary.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  You are a senior citizen and during the night while you are asleep, your heart beats 50 times per minute.  Is there something wrong with you?

Charley Weaver:  Well, let's put it this way.  Could you ask me Friday's questions today?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  What makes water hard?

Charley Weaver:  Winter.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall:  According to experts, is it ever a good idea to sleep with the window open?

Rose Marie: I won’t say what I sleep with!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What do most dentists say you should do with your dentures when you go to bed?

Charlie Weaver: Out at the home, we throw them into the center of the room and have a swap party.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?

George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who never rises for the bride and groom?

Paul Lynde: Ironside.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What state is known as The Granite State?

Morey Amsterdam: The Granite State? That’s where the famous man said “Just because your head is made of marble, don’t take everything for granite.”

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: President Washington once said quote “I would rather be in my grave than in…” what?

Paul Lynde: Grant’s tomb.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares