Subject: Insults (Page 12)

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Appearance Clothing Insults

She was a master at making nothing happen very slowly.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously.

(1828 – 1897) Scottish writer
Insults

You look like Benjamin Button when he was six.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Insults

I’ve met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Insults

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

(1919 – 1986) American actor
Insults

It proves what Harry always said: give the public what they want and they'll come out for it.

(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host
Death Insults

You'd think such a little mind would be lonely in such a big head.

(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager
Insults Intelligence

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases; he’s Mr. T without the acting chops.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Insults

The ‘g’ is silent… the only thing about her that is.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Communication Insults Speech

You're like a pay toilet, aren't you? … you don't give a shit for nothing.

(1905 – 1976) industrialist, aviator, engineer, film producer & philanthropist
Insults

A real Centaur: part man, part horse's ass.

(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer
Insults

Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Insults

I just hope what Janet did at halftime [at the Super Bowl] doesn't, in any way, tarnish the good name of the Jackson family.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Insults

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral was to make sure he was dead.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Insults

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

When I can’t sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Insults Reading/Writing Situations

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.

(1910 – 1973) American comedian
Insults

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Insults

I love that black dress; that neckline is plunging faster than Aretha Franklin’s head into a bucket of fried chicken.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Fat Insults

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Insults