Subject: Insults (Page 14)

A fat little flabby person, with the face of a baker, the clothes of a cobbler, the size of a barrel maker, the manners of a stocking salesman, and the dress of an innkeeper.

(1813-1864) writer
Insults

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Insults Opinion

The stupid person's idea of the clever person.

Wisconsin politician, professor & writer
Insults Intelligence

Actress: I enjoyed your book. Who wrote it for you?

Chase: I'm so glad you liked it. Who read it to you?

(1900 – 1978) American actress & novelist
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing

His [Ted Cruz’s] face looks like the entire movie Dick Tracy pushed together.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Insults

Justin Bieber looks like a little lesbian… he’s the daughter Cher wishes she’d had.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Insults

Bryant Gumbel’s ego has applied for statehood…. and if it’s accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.

(1934 – ) American TV personality
Insults

A buxom milkmaid reminiscent of a cow wearing a girdle, and both have the same amount of acting talent.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults

Put it back in the horse!

(1907 – 1976) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Insults

You'd think such a little mind would be lonely in such a big head.

(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager
Insults Intelligence

Italians are fantastic people, really; they can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People

He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.

college football coach
Animals Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

Incidentally, [Carla] I’ve taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I’ll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint.

(1958 – ) American actress, musician & dancer
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

You've got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan, because if you quote him accurately it's called mudslinging.

(1928 – ) U.S. vice president & senator (Minnesota)
Insults

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults

I don’t want to be patronizing… that means “talking down.”


Insults

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Communication Insults Speech

His impact on history would be no more than the whiff of scent on a lady's handkerchief.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
History Insults

Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the grand prize was fire.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Insults

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

The right honorable and learned gentleman has twice crossed the floor of this House, each time leaving behind a trail of slime.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Insults