Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Sunday, February 23, 2025
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Subject:
Insults
(Page 19)
One of the nicest old ladies I ever met.
William Faulkner
(1897-1962) American writer
Insults
On Henry James
I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last Christmas she stood under the mistletoe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent.
Les Dawson
(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Appearance
Insults
The only genius with an IQ of 60.
Gore Vidal
(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Insults
Intelligence
About Andy Warhol
A buxom milkmaid reminiscent of a cow wearing a girdle, and both have the same amount of acting talent.
‘Mr. Blackwell’
Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults
Brigitte Bardot
His impact on history would be no more than the whiff of scent on a lady's handkerchief.
David Lloyd George
(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
History
Insults
On Arthur Balfour
A nice, acrid, savage, pathetic old chap.
I.A. Richards
(1893 – 1979) English literary critic
Insults
About Robert Frost
You look like a horse in a man costume.
Dylan Moran
(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Insults
Neither am I.
Peter Cook
(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Books
Communication
Insults
Upon hearing that a fellow guest was ‘writing a book.’
You may have genius; the contrary is, of course, probable.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Insults
Intelligence
Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.
David Letterman
(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults
Intelligence
You look like the kind of woman who dates guys in prison.
Iliza Shlesinger
(1983 – ) American comedian
Insults
He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
Johnny Carson
(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance
Body
Fat
Insults
I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.
Anonymous
Expressions
Insults
Opinion
Dislike
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance
Fat
Insults
Chins
Elizabeth Taylor
Exaggerations
Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! – alcoholic and a racist!
Frankie Boyle
(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Insults
People
Mel Gibson
I don’t think he could direct his nephew to the bathroom.
Dyan Cannon
(1937 – ) American film & television actress, director, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment
Film
Insults
Of film director Otto Preminger
I think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Robin Williams
(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication
Insults
Speech
Ronald Reagan
He was humane but not human.
e e cummings
(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Insults
About Ezra Pound
Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? … I’m not a black.
Don Rickles
(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults
People
Nothing trivial, I hope.
John Pentland Mahaffy
(1839 – 1919) Irish writer
Health
Insults
Upon hearing of the illness of a political opponent
Some people say Birmingham looks great in the summer. I reckon it looks better in the rear view mirror.
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Insults
Places
Birmingham
Page 19 of 42
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