Subject: Insults (Page 22)

John Montague to John Wilkes: You will either die on the gallows or of a loathsome disease.

Wilkes’ reply: That depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.

(1725 – 1797) English radical, journalist & politician
Death Insults

He only had one idea and that was wrong.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Ideas Insults Intelligence

He now looks like a Barbie doll that has been whittled at by a malicious brother.

(1943 – ) English opera critic, author & journalist
Appearance Insults

If he were any dumber, he’d be a tree.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Insults Intelligence

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.

(1868-1954) professor & writer
Insults Places

I can always tell when the mother-in-law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Family Insults

He is suffering from halitosis of the intellect; that's presuming he has intellect.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

Judge: I have read your case, Mr Smith, and I am no wiser now than I was when I started.

Smith: Possibly not, My Lord, but much better informed.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Insults

Attila the Hen.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Insults

It makes me look as if I were straining a stool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Art Insults

He has committed every crime that does not require courage.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Crime Insults

Elizabeth, you gotta stop calling me… I’m going with someone.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

Definition of irony: Sharon Osborne judging talent

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Insults

I don't recognize you – I've changed a lot.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults

He looked like a half-melted rubber bulldog.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic
Appearance Insults

Jimmy Carter couldn't even hold his own attention.

(1952 – ) American political satirist
Insults

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

The General is suffering from mental saddle sores.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.

Churchill, in reply: If you were my wife, I’d drink it.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults Marriage People

The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

You’re the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit!

Insults