Subject: Insults (Page 23)

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Insults

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

One could not dignify him with the name of stuffed shirt; he was simply a hole in the air.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults

Of course we all know that Morris was a wonderful all-round man, but the act of walking round him has always tired me.

(1872 – 1956) English essayist, parodist & caricaturist
Insults

He was humane but not human.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Insults

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Insults Intelligence Stupidity

When Charlie Finley had his heart operation it took eight hours…. seven just to find his heart.

professional baseball pitcher
Baseball Insults Sports

He moves like a parody between a majorette girl and Fred Astaire.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Insults

Who among us has not gazed thoughtfully and patiently at a painting of Jackson Pollock and thought… "What a piece of crap?"

American television producer, screenwriter, executive producer & author
Art Insults

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court, Mr Smith?

Smith: No, My Lord. I am attempting to conceal it.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Government Insults

I want to reach your mind – where is it currently located?

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Insults

He would sooner keep hot coals in his mouth than a witticism.

(1810 – 1892) Scottish minister
Insults

They couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

Mariah the fashion pariah… the queen of catastrophic kitsch.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults

She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride – a little light in the belfry.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

His mind is so open – so open that ideas simply pass through it.

(1846 – 1924) British idealist philosopher
Insults Intelligence Mind

Joe Grant: “You bastard!”
’Rico’ Fardan: Yes sir. In my case an accident of birth. But you sir are a self-made man.

(1924 – 1987) American actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Appearance Clothing Insults

The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults People

He's a disappointed narcissist.

(1949 – ) English actor, writer & theater director
Appearance Body Insults

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.

American author
Insults People Places