Subject: Insults (Page 24)

He got a reputation as a great actor by just thinking hard about the next line.

(1894 – 1982) American film director, film producer & screenwriter
Acting Insults

The one good thing about global warming is that as the waters rise, Hazel Blears will drown first.

Insults

Truman Capote had a voice so high it could only be detected by a bat.

(1911 – 1983) playwright
Insults

I doubt that art needed [John] Ruskin any more than a moving train needs one of its passengers to shove it.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Art Entertainment Insults

She's about as feminine as a sidewalk drill.

(1925 – ) U.S. senator (Alabama)
Insults

How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

He'd steal a hot stove and come back for the smoke.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Insults

Such a little man could not have made so big a depression.

(1884 – 1968) American pacifist & Socialist Party presidential candidate
Insults

Wagner has beautiful moments but awful quarter hours.

(1792 – 1868) Italian composer
Insults

I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last Christmas she stood under the mistletoe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Appearance Insults

The baby is fine; the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Insults Relationships Ugly

He looks and talks like he just fell off Edgar Bergen's lap.

(1942 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, director & author
Insults

He doesn't die his hair – he's just prematurely orange.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Appearance Hair Insults

Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Insults

Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Appearance Insults

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the grand prize was fire.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Insults

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka, smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and vodka… anything and everything and vodka.

(1933 – ) Scottish born reporter, editor, & producer/correspondent
Insults People

He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar…. he's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.

(1865-1940) English actress
Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism