Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Insults
(Page 29)
I have just returned from Boston; it is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults
Places
Boston
He is a boil on the butt of humanity!
Shirley MacLaine
(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
As Ouiser in “Steel Magnolias”
Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.
David Letterman
(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults
Intelligence
I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.
Anonymous
Expressions
Insults
Opinion
Dislike
Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel.
Henry Allen
American journalist & critic
Appearance
Hair
Insults
About Lauren Bacall
Don't be so humble – you are not that great.
Golda Meir
(1898 – 1978) Israeli prime minister
Characteristics
Insults
Great
Humble
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance
Insults
You're like a pay toilet, aren't you? … you don't give a shit for nothing.
Howard Hughes
(1905 – 1976) industrialist, aviator, engineer, film producer & philanthropist
Insults
To Robert Mitchum
He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.
John Steinbeck
(1902 – 1968) novelist
Insults
Intelligence
He is just about the nastiest little man I've ever known; he struts sitting down.
Lillian Dykstra
Insults
About Thomas Dewey
Edward Woodward… Edward Woodward… sounds like a fart in the bath.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment
Insults
Of actor and singer Edward Woodward
There goes the famous good time that was had by all.
Bette Davis
(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Insults
Also Kenneth Tynan
Promiscuity
Said jealously of an up and coming actress
He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.
David Lloyd George
(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Insults
If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.
Anonymous
Acting
Entertainment
Insults
He' a Boy Scout with a hormone imbalance.
Kevin Phillips
(1940 – ) writer & commentator
Insults
About George Bush
For God's sake, go and tell that young man to take that Rockingham tea service out of his tights.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment
Insults
Coward said to the choreographer when a male dancer in one of his plays forgot to wear the proper support
Criticism
Theater
I'm not intending to imply insult or judgment here but I am curious to know in order to be able to respond to your posts in an appropriate manner, so please forgive what appears to be, but in fact is not intended as, an insulting question: Are you stupid?
Melinda Shore
blog host
Insults
Otto von Bismarck: The Germans have just bought a new country in Africa where Jews and pigs will be tolerated.
Disraeli: Fortunately, we are both here (in England).
Benjamin Disraeli
(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Insults
People
I love that black dress; that neckline is plunging faster than Aretha Franklin’s head into a bucket of fried chicken.
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance
Fat
Insults
Damn your nose, madam… there’s no end to it!
Thomas Gainsborough
(1727 – 1788) English painter
Appearance
Body
Insults
To Sarah Siddons
He must have been an incredibly good shot.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults
Intelligence
When told a rather stupid acquaintance had blown his brains out
Page 29 of 42
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