Subject: Insults (Page 30)

Sharp as a sack full of wet mice.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

Before we make love, my husband takes a painkiller.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Insults Marriage Sex

To know him was to like him; not to know him was to love him.

(1884 – 1947) Jewish American lyricist
Insults People

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Characteristics Insults

If there’s one thing for which I admire you, it’s your original discovery of the Ten Commandments.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Insults

Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.

(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of The Simpsons
Insults Intelligence

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Insults Intelligence

You’re like the Ernest Hemingway of bullshit.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Insults

You've got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan, because if you quote him accurately it's called mudslinging.

(1928 – ) U.S. vice president & senator (Minnesota)
Insults

Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! – alcoholic and a racist!

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Insults People

The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is never read.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

[boxing promoter] Bob Arum is one of the worst people in the western hemisphere. I don't know the eastern hemisphere very well, but I suspect he'd be one of the worst people there too, if he went.

boxing manager & trainer
Boxing Insults Sports

He is racist, he's homophobic, he's xenophobic and he's a sexist; he's the perfect Republican candidate.

(1940 – ) talk radio host, political commentator and author
Characteristics Insults

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Intelligence

He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar…. he's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Woody Allen didn’t even buy sheets without talking to his psychiatrist; I know several sessions went into his switch from polyester-satin to cotton.

(1945 – ) American model, activist & actress
Insults

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Insults

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Insults

A glorified bandmaster.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Insults Music

[He] is the only bull who carries his china shop with him.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults

Joan Rivers’s face hasn’t just had a lift, it’s taken the elevator all the way to the top floor without stopping.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance Insults