Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Insults
(Page 33)
Come again when you can't stay so long.
Walter Sickert
(1860 – 1942) German-English painter
Insults
Guests
Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Bette Davis
(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Appearance
Insults
About Jayne Mansfield
He's the only man able to walk under a bed without hitting his head.
Walter Winchell
(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Appearance
Insults
Height
Thomas E. Dewey
In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.
Geoffrey Cotterell
(1919 – 2010 ) England author
Communication
Insults
Places
Reading/Writing
Having your taste criticized by Dorothy Kilgallen is like having your clothes criticized by Emmett Kelly.
Dick Cavett
(1936 – ) television talk show host
Insults
Dorothy Kilgallen
If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults
Intelligence
Purists, be warned: This scare-flick quickie [
House of Wax
] has as much relation to the 1953 Vincent Price classic with the same title as Paris Hilton does to acting.
Peter Travers
American film critic & televison interviewer
Insults
Reviews/Criticism
“House of Wax”
A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.
Benjamin Disraeli
(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication
Insults
Speech
On William Gladstone
Wallowing in corruption like a rhinoceros in an African pool.
Edwin Lawrence Godkin
(1831 – 1902) journalist & newspaper editor
Crime
Insults
Corruption
On politician James G. Elaine
If life was a party, he wasn’t even in the kitchen.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Insults
Life
The English think soap is civilization.
Heinrich von Treitschke
(1834 – 1896) German historian & political writer
England
Insults
Places
Civilization
Soap
Decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults
Of Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin
I'm not intending to imply insult or judgment here but I am curious to know in order to be able to respond to your posts in an appropriate manner, so please forgive what appears to be, but in fact is not intended as, an insulting question: Are you stupid?
Melinda Shore
blog host
Insults
Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
Don Rickles
(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults
People
Asians
He is suffering from halitosis of the intellect; that's presuming he has intellect.
Harold L. Ickes
(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults
Intelligence
About Huey Long
I just hope what Janet did at halftime [at the Super Bowl] doesn't, in any way, tarnish the good name of the Jackson family.
Jay Leno
(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Insults
Janet Jackson
Reputation
He is a modest little man who has a good deal to be modest about.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics
Insults
Opinion
About Clement Attlee
Modesty
She's about as feminine as a sidewalk drill.
Maryon Allen
(1925 – ) U.S. senator (Alabama)
Insults
About Phyllis Schlafly
The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.
Charles Dickens
(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England
Insults
Places
About Henry VIII
Bette [Davis] and I are good friends; there's nothing I wouldn't say to her face – both of them.
Tallulah Bankhead
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Insults
Bette Davis
We’ve been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Insults
Life
Past
Blame
Shared experiences
Page 33 of 42
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