Subject: Insults (Page 35)

Dan Quayle deserves to be Vice President like Elvis deserved his black belt in karate.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Government Insults President

Bette [Davis] and I are good friends; there's nothing I wouldn't say to her face – both of them.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Insults

He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.

college football coach
Animals Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults Intelligence

I could dance with you until the cows come home… on second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

Sir, if my wife looked like that, I wouldn't need any help thinking of insults!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults

She has more talent to the square head than anybody I know.

(1908–1960) British film actress
Acting Entertainment Insults

Elizabeth Taylor looks like two small boys fighting underneath a thick blanket.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Insults

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.

(1721 – 1771) Scottish poet & author
Insults Intelligence People

His ignorance is encyclopedic.

(1915 – 2002) Israeli diplomat & politician
Insults Intelligence

Cesar Romero would attend the opening of a napkin.

(1913 – 1989) American radio, television, film & voice actor
Insults

Sometimes Howard makes me wish I was a dog and he was a fireplug.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

He was so mean it hurt him to go to the bathroom.

(1942 – ) Swedish actress
Insults

Joan always cries a lot; her tear ducts must be close to her bladder.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Insults

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Insults

Hey lady, this is what you’re gonna hear; iIf you’re waitin’ for Billy Graham to come in and make a kid walk again, forget about it.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

I was so unpopular as a kid, Dale Carnegie once hit me in the mouth.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics Insults People

Italians are fantastic people, really; they can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People

When your IQ rises to 28, sell.

(1914 – ) American comic & actor
Insults Intelligence

I’ve just learned about his illness; let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Health Insults