Subject: Insults (Page 36)

This enormous dunghill.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Insults

Scorsese was our director; he had phone books under his ass so he could see the actors.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

Try interviewing her sometime… it's like talking to a window.

(1948 – ) American television journalist & sportscaster
Insults

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

If there’s ever a price on your head – take it.

Insults

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.

(1721 – 1771) Scottish poet & author
Insults Intelligence People

What you don't know would make a good book.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Insults Intelligence

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Insults

She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride – a little light in the belfry.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

The gods bestowed on Max [Beerbohm] the gift of perpetual old age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Insults Old

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

When his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults

Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

An acquaintance, describing an unpopular man: He's his own worst enemy.

Adams: Not while I'm around.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Insults

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra – and sank.

(1900 – 1969) American drama critic & author
Acting Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism

He’s very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Insults

He's a Republican housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Characteristics Insults

Literary diarrhea.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Reviews/Criticism

Michael Jackson’s album was only called “Bad” because there wasn’t enough room on the sleeve for “Pathetic.”

Rogers Nelson (1958 – ) singer, songwriter, musician & actor
Insults

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court, Mr Smith?

Smith: No, My Lord. I am attempting to conceal it.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Government Insults