Subject: Insults (Page 37)

If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.

Acting Entertainment Insults

A pig in a silk suit who sends flowers.

(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Insults

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

Jane Fonda coming back to the screen after a decade-and-a-half absence in Monster-in-Law is like Brando returning from the dead to star in a Police Academy movie.

(1952 – ) American film critic & columnist
Entertainment Film Insults

Truman Capote had a voice so high it could only be detected by a bat.

(1911 – 1983) playwright
Insults

Like all self-made men he worships his creator.

Insults Reviews/Criticism

I believe that Lady Gaga is like a carnival ride; from a distance she looks fun, but up close, you don’t wanna climb on that.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Insults

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old

I was well warned about English food, so it did not surprise me, but I do wonder sometimes, how they ever manage to prise [lever] it up long enough to get a plate under it.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
England Food/Drink Insults Places

About the only thing you can say for his constipation of ideas is his diarrhea of words.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Communication Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

I thought men like that shot themselves.

(1865 – 1936) King of the United Kingdom & British Dominions from 1910 – 1936
Insults

Her hair lounges on her shoulders like an anesthetized cocker spaniel.

American journalist & critic
Appearance Hair Insults

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

George Bush should be the man the Americans send to Mars.

(1968 – ) English comedian & television personality
Insults

He would stab his best friend for the sake of writing an epigram on his tombstone.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults Reading/Writing

[George Bush] has the look about him of someone who might sit up and yip for a Dog Yummie.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
Insults People

She’s upstairs filing her teeth.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults

He acts like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Insults

Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Insults

His mind is so open – so open that ideas simply pass through it.

(1846 – 1924) British idealist philosopher
Insults Intelligence Mind

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Insults Intelligence