Subject: Insults (Page 37)

The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Appearance Insults

Mocking Hugh Hefner is easy to do, and in my mind should be made easier.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults

Bob Kelly was so dumb, they shoulda written his name on the Stanley Cup in crayon.

American sports announcer
Hockey Insults Sports

At first I thought he was walking a dog… then I realized it was his date.

(1918 – 1984) American actress & singer
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

It’s God, I recognized him from Blake’s picture.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Insults

The 't' is silent, as in Harlow.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Insults

What can you do with a man who looks like a female llama surprised when bathing?

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Insults

Joan Rivers’s face hasn’t just had a lift, it’s taken the elevator all the way to the top floor without stopping.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance Insults

A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Insults Intelligence

He walked as if he had fouled his small clothes and looks as if he smelt it.

(1722 – 1771) English poet
Insults

Frank Sinatra

(1915 – 1998) American singer & actor
Insults

It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs.

(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Insults Intelligence

A retail mind in a wholesale business.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Insults Intelligence

He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and even if he caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Beliefs Honesty Insults Lies

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music?

(1813 – 1883) German composer, conductor, theatre director & essayist
Entertainment Insults Music

All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
England Insults Places Speech

Who among us has not gazed thoughtfully and patiently at a painting of Jackson Pollock and thought… "What a piece of crap?"

American television producer, screenwriter, executive producer & author
Art Insults

Roseanne Barr is a bowling ball looking for an alley.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults

The next time anyone asks you ‘What is Bertrand Russell’s Philosophy?’ the correct answer is ‘What year please?’

(1902 – 1989) American philosopher
Insults

He was so mean it hurt him to go to the bathroom.

(1942 – ) Swedish actress
Insults