Subject: Insults (Page 38)

The only place in the world where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder.

(1897-1962) American writer
Hollywood Insults Places

Cesar Romero would attend the opening of a napkin.

(1913 – 1989) American radio, television, film & voice actor
Insults

He is the kind of man who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Insults

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Government Insults Politicians

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Insults

Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud; that's because 90% of everything is crud.

(1918 – 1985) science fiction author
Books Insults Reading/Writing

I don’t suggest that her face has been lifted, but there’s a possibility that her body has been lowered.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance Insults

It proves what Harry always said: give the public what they want and they'll come out for it.

(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host
Death Insults

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.

(1949 – ) American actor & environmentalist
Food/Drink Health Insults Places

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Insults

One could drive a schooner through any part of his argument and never scrape against a fact.

(1866 – 1940) academic, businessman & politician
Characteristics Facts Insults Truth

She was never really charming until she died.

(195/185–159 BC) playwright of the Roman Republic
Insults

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked – blowsy and loud and low.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Insults

You were born with your legs apart; they'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Insults Sex

Elizabeth, you gotta stop calling me… I’m going with someone.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

Like a cushion he always bore the impress of the last man who had sat on him.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Insults

A bag of tattooed bones in a sequined slingshot.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

I think a lot of Bernstein… but not as much as he does.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

He was so ugly, the last time I saw him he was the top of a totem pole in Seattle.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Insults