Subject: Insults (Page 39)

Judge: I have read your case, Mr Smith, and I am no wiser now than I was when I started.

Smith: Possibly not, My Lord, but much better informed.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Insults

Oscar Wilde's talent seems to me to be essentially rootless, something growing in glass on a little water.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Insults

I am… an inflated swimsuit.

(1966 – ) English dance-pop singer, actress & former model
Insults People Self

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda; it’s the first time an entire Third-World-country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Insults

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Appearance Insults

If he were any dumber, he’d be a tree.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Insults Intelligence

I thought men like that shot themselves.

(1865 – 1936) King of the United Kingdom & British Dominions from 1910 – 1936
Insults

A buxom milkmaid reminiscent of a cow wearing a girdle, and both have the same amount of acting talent.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults

He looked like a half-melted rubber bulldog.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic
Appearance Insults

Why, this fellow don't know any more about politics than a pig knows about Sunday.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Insults

It is disappointing to report that George Bernard Shaw appearing as George Bernard Shaw is sadly miscast in the part; satirists should be heard and not seen.

(1896 – 1955) American playwright
Acting Entertainment Insults

Come on in, Frank… make yourself at home – hit somebody.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults Intelligence Money

What do you mean, heart attack? … You’ve got to have a heart before you can have an attack.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Health Insults

There should be a Public Health Warning against this man.

(1956 – ) American dancer, choreographer & director
Insults

I have just returned from Boston; it is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults Places

Scorsese was our director; he had phone books under his ass so he could see the actors.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

If a traveller were informed that such a man was the leader of the House of Commons, he might begin to comprehend how the Egyptians worshipped an insect.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Government Insults

That baby is ugly…I’ve never seen a 6-month-old so desperately in need of waxing.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Insults

[He looks like] an explosion in a pubic hair factory.

(1934 – ) British theater director, author, humorist & medical doctor
Insults

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Insults Opinion