Subject: Insults (Page 40)

He doesn't die his hair, he bleaches his face.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Insults

I think that's our biggest problem right there.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Insults

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Insults Marriage

It makes me look as if I were straining a stool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Art Insults

When I can’t sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Insults Reading/Writing Situations

Like a cushion he always bore the impress of the last man who had sat on him.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Insults

The integrity of a hyena and the style of a poison toad.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Insults

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Beliefs Entertainment Insults Opinion People

He was so ugly, the last time I saw him he was the top of a totem pole in Seattle.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Insults

People say satire is dead; it's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Government Insults

Like all self-made men he worships his creator.

Insults Reviews/Criticism

He's the only man I know who could look at the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated and complain because the bathing suits weren't flame retardant.

(1930 – ) American politician
Insults

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Insults Intelligence Stupidity

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Appearance Insults

If you play against him, you hate him; if you play with him, you hate him a little less.

(1964 – ) Venezuelan-American baseball player & manager
Baseball Insults Sports

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults Places

Garfield has shown that he is not possessed of the backbone of an angleworm.

(1822 – 1885) 18th U.S. president & army general
Insults

A bag of tattooed bones in a sequined slingshot.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Appearance Body Clothing Insults