Subject: Insults (Page 40)

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Government Insults Law Lawyers Money

You have delighted us long enough.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Insults

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Insults Television

The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults People

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

Entertainment Insults Music Places

[Adlai] Stevenson was a man who could never make up his mind… whether he had to go to the bathroom or not.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Insults

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there’s scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults Intelligence Stupidity

Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you and I know there's famine in the land.

Shaw’s reply: One look at you, Mr. Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

With his womanly voice, stark white skin and Medusa hair, his gash of red lipstick, heavy eyeliner, almost nonexistent nose and lopsided face, Jackson was making his TV appearance in order to scotch all rumors that he is not quite normal.

(1957 –) British critic & satirist
Insults

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

(1945 – ) football coach
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing Sports

In defeat he was unbeatable; in victory, unbearable.

(1872 – 1953) British translator, arts patron & civil servant
Insults

An enchanting toad of a man.

(1900 – 1993) American actress
Insults

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

There should be a Public Health Warning against this man.

(1956 – ) American dancer, choreographer & director
Insults

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Insults

You look like the kind of woman who dates guys in prison.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Insults

The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Insults Speech

He looks like the guy in a science fiction movie who is the first to see the “Creature."

(1933 – 2011) American comedian, imitator of famous political figures
Insults

Listening to the Fifth Symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for forty-five minutes.

(1900 – 1990) classical composer, teacher, writer & conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

Say what you will, when Dan Quayle was in the National Guard, not one Viet Cong got past Muncie, Indiana.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Insults