Subject: Insults (Page 41)

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitch folk.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Insults

Is she fat? … Her favorite food is seconds.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink Insults

Joe Grant: “You bastard!”
’Rico’ Fardan: Yes sir. In my case an accident of birth. But you sir are a self-made man.

(1924 – 1987) American actor
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Harpo, she's a lovely person – she deserves a good husband; marry her before she finds one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults Marriage People

He is able to turn an unplotted, unworkable manuscript into an unplotted and unworkable manuscript with a lot of sex.


Insults

His impact on history would be no more than the whiff of scent on a lady's handkerchief.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
History Insults

Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."

(1912 – 1989) author, critic & political activist
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

His features resembled a fossilized wash rag.

(1925 – 2008) British journalist
Appearance Insults

Berlioz composes by splashing his pen over the manuscript and leaving the issue to chance.

(1810 – 1849) Polish composer & virtuoso pianist
Entertainment Insults Music

… an old man who dresses like a Hooter’s waitress.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing Hair Insults

She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.

(1942 – ) British politician
Insults

She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Appearance Body Insults Mind

I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

American comedian
Insults

[He looks like] an explosion in a pubic hair factory.

(1934 – ) British theater director, author, humorist & medical doctor
Insults

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry – for the clothes.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Clothing Insults Intelligence

This enormous dunghill.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Insults

She should get a divorce and settle down.

(1918 – 2004) radio and television comedian & talk show host
Divorce Insults Marriage

Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the grand prize was fire.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Insults

He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

(1919 – 1986) American actor
Insults

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Insults