Subject: Insults (Page 6)

His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap.

(1903 – 1989) American writer
Food/Drink Insults Intelligence

Relations are a tedious lot of people who don’t know how to live or when to die.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults Relationships

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Insults Marriage

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults Intelligence

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Insults Television

I am going to hell and I'm looking forward to it… I'll finally get to meet Madonna.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Death Insults Places

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.

(1912 – 2007) U.S. first lady, wife of Lyndon Johnson
Government Insults Politicians

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults

He makes a July's day short as December.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Insults

Put it back in the horse!

(1907 – 1976) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Insults

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? … I’m not a black.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases; he’s Mr. T without the acting chops.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Insults

Hey, I don’t get respect from anyone… why, American Airlines thanked me for flying United.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults People Self

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Government Insults Politicians

His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Insults

Nothing trivial, I hope.

(1839 – 1919) Irish writer
Health Insults

How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

She did not so much cook food as assassinate food

English writer
Cooking Food/Drink Insults

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports

A little emasculated mass of inanity.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Insults

[George Bush] has the look about him of someone who might sit up and yip for a Dog Yummie.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist
Insults People