Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Intelligence
(Page 10)
If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.
Williams and Holland's Law
Beliefs
Facts
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Data
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
Anonymous
Insults
Intelligence
A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
Alexander Pope
(1688 – 1744) English poet
Insults
Intelligence
The New York Times is read by the people who run the country; the Washington Post is read by the people who think they run the country; the National Enquirer is read by the people who think Elvis is alive and running the country…
Robert J. Woodhead
entrepreneur, software engineer & game programmer
Communication
Intelligence
Reading/Writing
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Ozzy Osborne
(1948 – ) English rock vocalist & songwriter
Intelligence
Mind
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle
(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage
Memory
Problems
Sex
Wives
One thing
I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
John F Kennedy
(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Intelligence
President
At a dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners
Thomas Jefferson
Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.
Cory Doctorow
(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Intelligence
People
Engineers
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
Albert Schweitzer
(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
Emotions
Happiness
Health
Intelligence
Memory
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics
Honesty
Intelligence
Truth
Head
If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.
Derek Bok
(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education
Intelligence
Money
Ignorance
Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? … he went to prison for three years, not Princeton.
Lou Duva
(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Boxing
Intelligence
Sports
On Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King
Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence
Money
Genius
Poverty
In no time, it will be a forgotten memory.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication
Memory
Misspokements
Speech
Time
Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.
Matt Groening
(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of
The Simpsons
Insults
Intelligence
Dan Quayle
Ronald Reagan
Anyone who has begun to think places some portion of the world in jeopardy.
John Dewey
(1859 – 1952) American philosopher, psychologist & educational reformer
Intelligence
Thinking
He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.
Anonymous
Age
Intelligence
Forty
You never realize what a good memory you have until you try to forget something.
Franklin Jones
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence
Memory
Forgetting
He was so square he was divisible by four.
Jim Murray
(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Characteristics
Intelligence
Of John Wooden
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Ideas
Intelligence
Creativity
Sources
Page 10 of 47
« First
« Previous
8
9
10
11
12
Next »
Last »