Subject: Intelligence (Page 10)

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

American basketball player

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist

I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright

Empty vessels make most noise.

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

A movie is never any better than the stupidest man connected with it.

(1894 – 1964) American screenwriter, director, producer, playwright & novelist

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

Well, I really think he shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

(1930 – ) American politician

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available, from which it can pass only to a cooler mind.

Every great idea has a disadvantage equal to or exceeding the greatness of the idea.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist