Subject: Intelligence (Page 12)

Right now I feel that I’ve got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.

professional baseball player
Intelligence Mind Misspokements

 It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

History Memory Murphy’s Laws

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Fools Intelligence Time Wisdom

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.

author
Intelligence Wisdom

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Intelligence Proverbs Stupidity

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Intelligence Situations Understanding

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence Wisdom

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Communication Intelligence Speech

A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.

(1947 – ) radio broadcaster & host
Intelligence Problems Stupidity

I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, OK, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence People Women

How many fools does it take to make up a public?

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Fools Intelligence

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Ideas Intelligence Success

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Situations

His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap.

(1903 – 1989) American writer
Food/Drink Insults Intelligence

The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb; to be a back, you only have to be dumb.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Intelligence Sports Stupidity

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around; but when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Family Fathers Intelligence Learning Stupidity Wisdom

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

My girlfriend said she wanted me to dominate her; so I said, “OK, let’s play Scrabble.”

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Sex