Subject: Intelligence (Page 14)

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Characteristics Intelligence

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Entertainment Intelligence Music Wisdom

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Entertainment Ideas Music

The General is suffering from mental saddle sores.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Understanding

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
Fools Intelligence People Things

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Recollect: To recall with additions something not previously known.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Memory

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Ideas Intelligence Work

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there’s scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults Intelligence Stupidity

About the only thing you can say for his constipation of ideas is his diarrhea of words.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Communication Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

Can't find his ass with two hands and a flashlight

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… prepare to die.

Intelligence Proverbs Wisdom

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant; it's that they know so much that ain't so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence People

The measure of a bird dog's intelligence can be determined by the length of time it takes to resign yourself to his way of thinking.

Animals Dogs Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Elections/Voting Government Intelligence President Stupidity

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Death Future Intelligence Time

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools Intelligence