Subject: Intelligence (Page 16)

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.

(1918 – 1996) U.S. vice president & politician
Intelligence People

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around; but when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Family Fathers Intelligence Learning Stupidity Wisdom

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence Stupidity

Nature was not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write.

(1859 – 1936) English classical scholar & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Entertainment Ideas Music

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence People Stupidity

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Intelligence Men Thinking

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the priviledge.

Insults Intelligence

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.


Communication Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks

The information conveyed is less important than the impression.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Sir Stafford has a brilliant mind until it’s made up.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Intelligence Mind

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter

There are only two problems with people: One is that they don't think; The other is that they do.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems Thinking

If you only read one book in your life… I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Intelligence Stupidity

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
Intelligence Wisdom

He couldn’t find his ass with a flashlight and a roadmap.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten; they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

(1930 – 1977) German teacher
Intelligence People