Subject: Intelligence (Page 17)

The distance between many people’s ears is a block.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence

I have an amazing ability to forget.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Intelligence Memory Sports

It doesn’t seem fair, does it Norm … that I should have so much knowledge when there are people in the world that have to go to bed stupid every night.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I wonder what goes through [your dog’s] mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

American writer
Animals Dogs Intelligence Thinking

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… prepare to die.

Intelligence Proverbs Wisdom

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Places Science/Weather Stupidity

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Intelligence Men Thinking

You might be a redneck if… your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks Stupidity

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Characteristics Intelligence

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Fools

You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Intelligence

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

If brains was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I am not young enough to know everything.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Age Education Intelligence Young

The brain is entirely fat… without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

He is so dumb… his dog teaches him tricks.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare.

(1927 – 2003) American politician
Government Intelligence

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Cold Football Intelligence Places Sports

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence Wisdom