Subject: Intelligence (Page 18)

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.

Beliefs Children Family Intelligence Opinion

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing

Empty vessels make most noise.

Fools Intelligence

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Intelligence Money

An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Lies Murphy’s Laws Truth

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten; they’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

Intelligence Stupidity

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

Don't worry about people stealing an idea; if it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

(1900 – 1973) computer pioneer
Ideas Intelligence

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Insults Intelligence Stupidity

All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.

American writer
Intelligence Self

Think?… how the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports Thinking Yogi-isms

The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it.

Intelligence Wisdom

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools Intelligence

First you forget names, then you forget faces… next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Intelligence Memory Old

The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect.

(1950 – ) English broadcaster, journalist & author
England Ideas Intelligence Places

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.

(1844 – 1912) Scottish poet, novelist & literary critic
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.

(1949 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Intelligence Stupidity

The trouble isn’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Intelligence Science/Weather

Your head is as empty as a hermit's address book.

(1955 – ) English actor
Intelligence Stupidity