Subject: Intelligence (Page 18)

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

Anyone who has begun to think places some portion of the world in jeopardy.

(1859 – 1952) American philosopher, psychologist & educational reformer
Intelligence

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Failure Intelligence Mistakes People

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Characteristics Intelligence

If he were any dumber, he’d be a tree.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Insults Intelligence

It sounds good on paper.

Ideas Intelligence Mixed metaphors

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Insults Intelligence

A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Insults Intelligence

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Problems

Wisdom: Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

You’ve heard of people living in a fool’s paradise? … well, Leonora has a duplex there.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Fools Insults

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

(1940 – ) computer scientist
Future Ideas Intelligence Time

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Entertainment Insults Memory People

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

No man ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws

Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs!


Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

Egotist: A conceited ass who thinks he knows as much as you do.

Definitions Intelligence People Self