Subject: Intelligence (Page 19)

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.

Ideas Intelligence

To expect life to treat you good is as foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Intelligence Life

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.


Intelligence Men People Self Sex

Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.

(1948 – ) American book critic
Intelligence

Most minds are like concrete… all mixed up and permanently set!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence People

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

He is so stupid… it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

If you said 'irony' to Clay, he'd look down at his shirt and think it needed pressing.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Insults Intelligence

It’s easy to smile when you have a squirrel’s intellect.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Stupidity

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Insults Intelligence

Personally, I’m waiting for caller IQ.

(1955 – ) American comedian, singer, actress & author
Intelligence People Things

Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.

(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of The Simpsons
Insults Intelligence

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country… and we haven’t seen them since.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
America Intelligence Places

Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it.

(1908 – 1990) English actor
Ideas Intelligence

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol Insults Intelligence

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Communication Emotions Happiness Intelligence Stupidity

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Doctors Fools Intelligence