Subject: Intelligence (Page 20)

Idiot: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence

If you only read one book in your life… I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

The first coherent line ever spoken was ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence Speech Understanding

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to use it in a fruit salad.

Intelligence

Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.

(85–43 BC) Latin writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Thinking

[George W.] Bush doesn’t know the names of countries, he doesn’t know the names of foreign leaders, he can’t even find the Earth on a globe.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Intelligence People

You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Characteristics Intelligence Time

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

A lot of things run through your head when you're going in to relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, "Should I spike myself?"

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Intelligence Sports Thinking

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.

(1949 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

Nature was not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write.

(1859 – 1936) English classical scholar & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence

A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently illogical rules.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.  There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Intelligence People

At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.

Age Intelligence

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

There is only one difference between a madman and me – the madman thinks he is sane… I know I am mad.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Intelligence People Self

I’m in love with a philosophy major, and she doesn’t even know I exist – and worse… she can prove it.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Intelligence Love Situations