Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Intelligence
(Page 22)
Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
Malek's Law
Communication
Ideas
Intelligence
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.
Eugene O’Neill
(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Communication
Intelligence
Occupations
Work
Critics
His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.
Robin Williams
(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf
Insults
Intelligence
Euphemisms
Some people are widely read – I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication
Intelligence
People
Reading/Writing
Self
You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.
Joe Orton
(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Fools
Intelligence
Stupidity
I had amnesia… once or twice.
Rod Schmidt
Health
Memory
Amnesia
She was short on intellect, but long on shape.
George Ade
(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist
Appearance
Insults
Intelligence
White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
Intelligence
People
White Supremacists
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.
Thomas Brackett Reed
(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Insults
Intelligence
Said of two colleagues
The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
Bill Watterson
(1955 – ) cartoonist
(Calvin and Hobbes)
Intelligence
Mind
From Calvin & Hobbes
The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.
Law of the Letter
Communication
Ideas
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Letters
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Dwight D. ‘Ike’ Eisenhower
Intelligence
Creativity
Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.
Pete Rose
American baseball player
Appearance
Baseball
Body
Intelligence
Sports
I come from a stupid family… during the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family
Intelligence
Relationships
Stupidity
Civil War
Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics
People
Self
Understanding
Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.
Anonymous
Communication
Conversation
Definitions
Intelligence
Speech
Agreement
The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools
Intelligence
Evil
Trouble
Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.
Anonymous
Definitions
Happiness
Intelligence
Philosophy
1. Any great truth can – and eventually will – be expressed as a cliche.2. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
Short's Quotations
Communication
Facts
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Cliches
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence
Language
People
Thinking
Women
A liar should have a good memory.
Quintilian's Law
Memory
Murphy’s Laws
People
Liars
Page 22 of 47
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