Subject: Intelligence (Page 22)

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Autos Fools Things

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals; she thought we just fought in world war eleven.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence War

You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Intelligence

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Mind Speech

We always admire the intelligence of those who ask us for advice.

(1927 – ) American lawyer, activist & public official
Intelligence People

All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains; what good are brains to a man? … they only unsettle him.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wisdom

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

British clerk of the House of Commons
Ideas Intelligence

You don’t have enough smarts to straighten this out. This is unstraightable.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Intelligence Misspokements Sports

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

If you run out of sound judgment, borrow.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Intelligence

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fools Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wives

We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.

(1897 – 1982) French writer
Fools Intelligence Time Wisdom

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

(1821 – 1880) French novelist
Emotions Happiness Stupidity

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

He’s a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Fools Health Intelligence

The only genius with an IQ of 60.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Insults Intelligence

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Intelligence Situations Understanding

Intelligent people make many mistakes because they cannot believe the world is really as foolish as it is.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Fools Intelligence

You cannot fashion a wit out of two half-wits.

(1942 – ) English politician
Fools Intelligence

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body; then I realized who was telling me this.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Intelligence