Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Intelligence
(Page 22)
One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.
Franklin Jones
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence
Memory
Forgiving
An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.
Franklin Jones
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books
Communication
Memory
Reading/Writing
Autobiographies
Writer
He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.
Charles Kingsley
(1819 – 1875) English priest, university professor, historian & novelist
Insults
Intelligence
People
So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
Emo Phillips
(1956 – ) American comedian
Fools
Intelligence
Places
Harpoon
Wailing wall
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Boehm's 2nd Law of Assistance
Memory
Murphy’s Laws
People
Problems
Situations
Trouble
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends
Intelligence
Old
People
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
Anonymous
Fools
Intelligence
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Harlan Ellison
(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence
People
Places
Science/Weather
Stupidity
Universe
I wonder what goes through [your dog’s] mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
Penny Moser
American writer
Animals
Dogs
Intelligence
Thinking
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication
Intelligence
Reading/Writing
Newspapers
Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.
Steve Allen
(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Entertainment
Intelligence
Television
Radio
Theater
One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.
William Feather
(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Happiness
Intelligence
People
Civilization
Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
Wisdom
Philosophy
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence
Language
People
Thinking
Women
If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.
John von Neumann
(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence
Life
Science/Weather
Mathematics
You'd think such a little mind would be lonely in such a big head.
Herbert Beerbohm Tree
(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager
Insults
Intelligence
Of an actor
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
G.K. Chesterton
(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Intelligence
Money
Stupidity
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Dwight D. ‘Ike’ Eisenhower
Intelligence
Creativity
Only a fool can reproduce another fool’s work.
Freivald's Law
Fools
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Work
Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.
Pat Buchanan
(1938 – ) political commentator, author, columnist, politician & broadcaster
Insults
Intelligence
Politics
Bill Clinton
No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence
Men
People
Sex
Page 22 of 47
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