Subject: Intelligence (Page 22)

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

Some people are widely read – I'm thinly read.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright

I had amnesia… once or twice.


She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

(1866 – 1944) American writer, newspaper columnist, playwright & humorist

White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives

The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.


The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.


Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.

American baseball player

I come from a stupid family… during the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

1. Any great truth can – and eventually will – be expressed as a cliche.

2. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

A liar should have a good memory.