Subject: Intelligence (Page 23)

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Marriage Memory Sex

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get into office.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Government Intelligence Work

An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.

(1689 – 1755) French philosopher & political commentator
Books Communication Fools Reading/Writing

I suffer fools gladly because I am one of them.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Fools Intelligence People Self

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Intelligence

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing.

(1885 – 1981) American writer, historian & philosopher
Age Intelligence

He is at his wit's end – it is true that he had not far to go.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
Communication Insults Intelligence

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Emotions Intelligence

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

Insults Intelligence

A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently illogical rules.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

You get the feeling that Dan Quayle's golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons?

(1925 – 2005) television host
Intelligence

I am in the prime of senility.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Age Memory Mind Old

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten; they’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

Intelligence Stupidity

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?

American stand-up comedian
Age Intelligence Memory Old

Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it.

(1908 – 1990) English actor
Ideas Intelligence

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Intelligence Language

He couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T.


Football Intelligence Sports

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Understanding

You never realize what a good memory you have until you try to forget something.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence Memory