Subject: Intelligence (Page 24)

Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.

(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Intelligence People

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence Men People Stupidity

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws Women

Research is reading two books that have never been read in order to write a third that will never be read.

Books Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.

Intelligence Mind Situations

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do.

(1888 – 1955) American writer, lecturer & developer of self-improvement skills
Characteristics Communication Fools Intelligence

To expect life to treat you good is as foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Intelligence Life

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

In a war of ideas it is people who get killed.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Conflict Ideas Intelligence War

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Fools Sports

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

(1920 – 1985 Russian-born American actor of stage & film
Girls Intelligence People Women

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Memory Proverbs

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Intelligence Stupidity

Am I getting smart with you? … how would you know?

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Intelligence

A conservative is a man who sits and thinks… mostly sits.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Beliefs Intelligence

I think the Japanese are smart people – stereotypically so.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence People