Subject: Intelligence (Page 24)

Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Alcohol Food/Drink Speech Wisdom

Most people don't act stupid: it's the real thing!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Fools Intelligence

Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Fools Intelligence Marriage Men Women

If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.

(1956 – ) American lawyer & novelist
Insults Intelligence

You can't fix stupid; there’s not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Stupidity

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence

People ask stupid questions for a reason.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
Intelligence Wisdom

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Beliefs Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Intelligence People

A face unclouded by thought.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Insults Intelligence

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Communication Education Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence Memory Past

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Life

Can't find his ass with two hands and a flashlight

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Insults Intelligence

Your head is as empty as a hermit's address book.

(1955 – ) English actor
Intelligence Stupidity

Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

What better way to head off more oil drilling, nuclear plants, than by blowing up a rig? … I'm just noting the timing, here.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Intelligence Stupidity

The less a person knows, the more he wants to tell it.

Fools Intelligence