Subject: Intelligence (Page 25)

A coach isn't as smart as people say he is when he's wins, or as stupid as when he loses.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Intelligence Sports

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Stupidity

I’m going to Radio Shack to buy one of those headsets like the broadcasters use… it seems as soon as you put them on, you get 100 times smarter.

American baseball manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports

Some coaches pray for wisdom; I pray for 260-pound tackles… they’ll give me plenty of wisdom.

(1932 – ) American football coach
Football Intelligence Sports Wisdom

The helmet is one of the least effective inventions of mankind. It's designed to protect a brain that is functioning so poorly as to be unable to prevent itself from being cracked open on its own.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Intelligence

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics Understanding

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence

History would be an excellent thing, if only it were true.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
History Intelligence Time

If he were any dumber, he’d be a tree.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Insults Intelligence

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs.

(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Insults Intelligence

Wisdom: Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage Memory Problems Sex Wives

My fairy Godmother once asked me if I’d rather have a long penis or a long memory… I forget what my answer was.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Memory

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent full of doubt.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Fools Intelligence

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence Life Money

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Understanding

To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed.

Classifieds Misspokements Stupidity

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Intelligence

Statistics are no substitute for common sense.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws