Subject: Intelligence (Page 25)

Educated Man: One who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answers.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Intelligence

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Intelligence

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals; she thought we just fought in world war eleven.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence War

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Fools Intelligence

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Psychic: An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons.

American author
Fools Intelligence Money

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Intelligence Language

Am I getting smart with you? … how would you know?

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Intelligence

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
Intelligence People

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places

One who has a clear conscience has a foggy memory.

Intelligence Memory

There are no eccentrics in the suburbs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence People Places

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Intelligence Love People Women

Think?… how the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports Thinking Yogi-isms

 It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

History Memory Murphy’s Laws

Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.

Intelligence Proverbs Wisdom

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

(1892 – 1942) American painter
Animals Ideas Intelligence Situations

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Fools Intelligence