Subject: Intelligence (Page 25)

I don't hire anybody not brighter than I am; if they're not brighter than I am, I don't need them.

1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Intelligence People

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Intelligence

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws World

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Communication Intelligence Understanding

My fairy Godmother once asked me if I’d rather have a long penis or a long memory… I forget what my answer was.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Memory

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Memory TV/Movie Quotes

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Intelligence People

Sam: Have you noticed that, uh… somebody in this bar is getting a little loony?

Frasier: Sam, everyone in this bar is on a connecting flight to beyond loony.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Life Science/Weather

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.

Fools Intelligence Men People Women

In no time, it will be a forgotten memory.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Memory Misspokements Speech Time

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

I was at a party a couple of weeks ago, talking to this guy about the Gaza Strip; he thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conversation People Stupidity Things

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Family Memory People Relationships

Couldn't scratch his ass if he had a tiger in both hands.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Intelligent people make many mistakes because they cannot believe the world is really as foolish as it is.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Fools Intelligence

You know how your friends are all morons, and they got the stories wrong all the time?… it’s the same here with the Bible.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Friends Intelligence Old People

She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride – a little light in the belfry.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Intelligence President Self