Subject: Intelligence (Page 26)

He couldn’t find his ass with a flashlight and a roadmap.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Intelligence Mind People Self

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Situations

The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect.

(1950 – ) English broadcaster, journalist & author
England Ideas Intelligence Places

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.

(1688 – 1744) English poet
Insults Intelligence

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Religion

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Mind Speech

A coach isn't as smart as people say he is when he's wins, or as stupid as when he loses.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Intelligence Sports

He ain’t got enough sense to poor piss out of a boot.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes Understanding

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People

A little ignorance can go a long way.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
Fools Intelligence People Things

Finally, a guy who says what people who aren’t thinking are thinking.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Intelligence Opinion Thinking

Sam, I’m very impressed. That’s a complex psychological concept coming from a man who has to write “L” and “R” on the bottom of his shoes.

(1949 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Intelligence People Self

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Entertainment Ideas Music

While he was not as dumb as an ox, he was not any smarter either.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Intelligence Stupidity

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain… and most fools do.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Fools Intelligence

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.

(1862 – 1947) American educator
Intelligence

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Fools Intelligence People Things