Subject: Intelligence (Page 27)

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?

American stand-up comedian
Age Intelligence Memory Old

I had to go back to New York recently for a family reunion… I walk in there, I look at everyone, and I think: 'I'm getting my tubes tied; that's it; the tree ends here.'

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Intelligence Relationships

You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers.

(1961 – ) American actor, director, producer & screenwriter
Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

(1842 – 1910) American philosopher & psychologist
Intelligence Wisdom

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Your ignorance cramps my conversation.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Conversation Intelligence Speech Stupidity

I wonder what goes through [your dog’s] mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

American writer
Animals Dogs Intelligence Thinking

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

Definitions Intelligence People

Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Death Intelligence Thinking

People say it’s easy to make fun of retarded people, but it’s not… you really have to explain it to them.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Intelligence People

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence People

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Intelligence Love People Women

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

The less you know about an opportunity, the more attractive it is.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Memory and teeth grow weaker with time.

Intelligence Memory Proverbs

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

I have an amazing ability to forget.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Intelligence Memory Sports

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Books Communication Reading/Writing Wisdom

One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence Memory

A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Communication Intelligence People Self Speech