Subject: Intelligence (Page 28)

My fairy Godmother once asked me if I’d rather have a long penis or a long memory… I forget what my answer was.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Memory

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive
Basketball Intelligence

Fools rush in and get the best seats.

Fools Proverbs

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.

(1862 – 1947) American educator
Intelligence

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Communication Ideas Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

1. Any great truth can – and eventually will – be expressed as a cliche.

2. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

Communication Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Insults Intelligence

Empty vessels make most noise.

Fools Intelligence

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Intelligence Speech Thinking

I’m not into this detail stuff; I’m more concepty.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Ideas Intelligence

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Intelligence Memory Past

If the converse of a statement is absurd, the original statement is an insult to the intelligence and should never have been said.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory

Look at him and you'd think he's 16… talk to him and you think he's 26; talk baseball with him, and you'd think he's 36.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive
Baseball Intelligence Sports

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Stupidity

 Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? … I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Intelligence

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

(1929 – ) American writer
Intelligence Life Mind

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults Intelligence