Subject: Intelligence (Page 29)

I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Intelligence

He couldn’t find his ass with a flashlight and a roadmap.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Only one percent of the oil pollution in the sea is the result of oil drilling, while 63 percent is the result of natural seepage on the ocean floor.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Intelligence President

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Autos Fools Things

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Military Murphy’s Laws Understanding

Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

Sharp as a sack full of wet mice.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Fools Intelligence People

He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults Intelligence

Finally, a guy who says what people who aren’t thinking are thinking.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Intelligence Opinion Thinking

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Government Politics Stupidity

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Beliefs Intelligence

The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Happiness Intelligence Money Poverty Wealth

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Intelligence People

Now that I am sixty, I see why the idea of elder wisdom has passed from currency.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Age Intelligence Old Wisdom

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

(1930 – ) American baseball player
Education Intelligence

The cure to information overload is more information.

(1950 – ) American technologist, commentator, author & editor
Beliefs Facts Intelligence