Subject: Intelligence (Page 30)

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

Couldn’t find his rear with his hands in his back pockets

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Education: Forcing abstract ideas into concrete heads.

Definitions Ideas Intelligence

How is it that little children are so intelligent and men are so stupid? … it must be education that does it.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Education Intelligence

History would be an excellent thing, if only it were true.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
History Intelligence Time

The first coherent line ever spoken was ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence Speech Understanding

An admiring drunk to Parker: I simply can’t bear fools.
Parker: Apparently, your mother did not have the same difficulty.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Fools Intelligence

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Age Intelligence Old Young

He ain’t got enough sense to poor piss out of a boot.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time.

British boxer
Boxing Intelligence Misspokements Sports Thinking

If you make something idiot-proof, the world will create a better idiot.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives
Insults Intelligence

This weekend President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.  There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as “the guy who invented the penny.”

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Intelligence People

I have a simple philosophy; fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Intelligence

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

We all are born mad; some remain so.

(1906 –1989) Irish novelist, playwright, theatre director & poet
Intelligence

If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Insults Intelligence

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

(1920 – 1985 Russian-born American actor of stage & film
Girls Intelligence People Women

A face unclouded by thought.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Insults Intelligence

People ask stupid questions for a reason.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex