Subject: Intelligence (Page 30)

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Military Murphy’s Laws Understanding

He is so stupid… it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

I ain’t in a happy frame of mood.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Emotions Happiness Malaprops Mind

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Intelligence New York City Reading/Writing

We always admire the intelligence of those who ask us for advice.

(1927 – ) American lawyer, activist & public official
Intelligence People

My wife’s not too smart; I told her our kids were spoiled… she said, “all kids smell that way.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family Intelligence Marriage Stupidity

You will need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

American proverb

Intelligence Proverbs

Empty vessels make most noise.

Fools Intelligence

He’s a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Fools Health Intelligence

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Ideas Intelligence

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Age Old Proverbs Wisdom

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Children Education Family Intelligence Speech

Other things being equal, it is better to be smart than to be stupid.

(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author
Intelligence Stupidity

The General is suffering from mental saddle sores.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books Communication Memory Reading/Writing

No good decision was ever made in a swivel chair.

(1885 – 1945) U.S. Army general
Intelligence

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Intelligence Situations Understanding

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Fools Intelligence Money People