Subject: Intelligence (Page 30)

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Autos Fools Things

At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.

Age Intelligence

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

Only one percent of the oil pollution in the sea is the result of oil drilling, while 63 percent is the result of natural seepage on the ocean floor.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Situations Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe; I dispute that… I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Intelligence Stupidity

You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Characteristics Intelligence Time

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Emotions Fools Intelligence Laughter

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Life Stupidity Success

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Clothing Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

American proverb

Intelligence Proverbs

What he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in stupidity.

Insults Intelligence Stupidity

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

Intelligence

It's a scientific fact; for every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Hollywood Intelligence Places

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Insults Intelligence

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Intelligence Speech Wisdom

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports