Subject: Intelligence (Page 33)

Most people don't act stupid: it's the real thing!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Fools Intelligence

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

(427 BC – 347 BC) Greek author & philosopher
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech Wisdom

You get the feeling that Dan Quayle's golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons?

(1925 – 2005) television host
Intelligence

She is so stupid… she can’t make ice without a recipe.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf.

(1889 – 1974) American intellectual, writer, reporter & political commentator
Entertainment Intelligence Music Wisdom

Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it.

(1908 – 1990) English actor
Ideas Intelligence

I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Characteristics Fools Intelligence

The boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics Facts Intelligence Situations Truth

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Communication Intelligence People Self Speech

We often think the way Gracie talks, but we pride ourselves that we never talk the way Gracie thinks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Individuals People Speech Thinking

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Mind Self TV/Movie Quotes

This neurotic pursuit of sanity is driving us all crazy.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Intelligence

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence

I tell you boy, the wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

(1962 – ) American ventriloquist & stand-up comedian
Intelligence Stupidity

He’s got more dollars than cents.

Expressions Intelligence

His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea.

(1863 – 1941) U.S. senator (California) & U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Communication Ideas Speech

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Intelligence Wisdom

The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it.

Intelligence Wisdom