Subject: Intelligence (Page 33)

Those who know the least will always know it the loudest.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Things

Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Entertainment Insults Memory People

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

History Murphy’s Laws People Wisdom

Any theory can be made to fit any facts by means of appropriate additional assumptions.

Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Intelligence Language

You may have genius; the contrary is, of course, probable.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Insults Intelligence

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Intelligence Money Taxes

Most minds are like concrete… all mixed up and permanently set!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence People

History would be an excellent thing, if only it were true.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
History Intelligence Time

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

(1863 – 1941) U.S. senator (California) & U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Intelligence People Stupidity

Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap.

(1903 – 1989) American writer
Food/Drink Insults Intelligence

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Understanding

Where ignorance is bliss, it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence

A fool and your money are soon partners.

Fools Money Murphy’s Laws

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive; it only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Intelligence

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Intelligence Stupidity

If a scientist were to cut his ear off, no one would take it as evidence of a heightened sensibility.

(1915 – 1987) Brazilian/British biologist
Intelligence Occupations Science/Weather Work