Subject: Intelligence (Page 33)

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

Insults Intelligence

The first requisite of intelligent tinkering is to save all the pieces.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Things

Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

Horse sense is what prevents a woman from becoming a nag.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Intelligence Marriage Wives

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.


Intelligence Thinking

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child; just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Honesty Insults Intelligence Sports

I've been doing some extremely abstract paintings… no paint, no canvas; I just think about it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Art Entertainment Thinking

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Intelligence People

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Fools Intelligence Money

Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Military Murphy’s Laws Understanding

Right now I feel that I’ve got my feet on the ground as far as my head is concerned.

professional baseball player
Intelligence Mind Misspokements

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by the age of eighteen.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Wisdom

I understand, Moe, that you are in counter-intelligence, which, I assume, means you are against intelligence.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Intelligence Sports

He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

It (a cubicle) basically says, like, 'You know what?… we don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.'

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Work

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Mind Speech

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him.

(1564 – 1642) Italian astronomer, physicist, engineer, philosopher & mathematician
Intelligence People Self

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing