Subject: Intelligence (Page 34)

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence Things

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Ideas Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Intelligence Language

I tell you boy, the wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

(1962 – ) American ventriloquist & stand-up comedian
Intelligence Stupidity

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Definitions Intelligence People

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Entertainment Ideas Music

Henry James has a mind – a sensibility – so fine that no mere idea could ever penetrate it.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Insults Intelligence

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government Intelligence Politicians

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence Men People Women

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

(1932 – ) American biologist & educator
Intelligence Things

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

What are you afraid they're gonna do – sneak in and redecorate the place?

comedian & television writer
Characteristics Intelligence

Statistics are no substitute for common sense.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

There's a fine line between genius and insanity and I have erased this line.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Intelligence

If ever a single person was living proof that intelligence is a meaningless quality without modest common sense, it was Susan Sontag.

(1947 – ) English-born Irish journalist & writer
Insults Intelligence

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Ideas Intelligence

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Intelligence Memory

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Beliefs God Intelligence Stupidity

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

Intelligence Memory