Subject: Intelligence (Page 35)

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence

A poem is no place for an idea.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Communication Ideas Intelligence Reading/Writing

In a war of ideas it is people who get killed.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Conflict Ideas Intelligence War

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Emotions Intelligence

It’s difficult to remember when you haven’t played it before.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Intelligence Memory Misspokements Music

There are more acres of forestland in America today than when Columbus discovered the continent in 1492.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Lies Places Stupidity

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

author
Alcohol Food/Drink Intelligence

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Intelligence

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Memory

Horse sense is what prevents a woman from becoming a nag.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Intelligence Marriage Wives

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Intelligence Religion

If brains was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Intelligence People Things

She is so slow… she has to speed up to stop.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Ideas Murphy’s Laws Politicians

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Ideas Intelligence Success

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Insults Intelligence

You get the feeling that Dan Quayle's golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons?

(1925 – 2005) television host
Intelligence