Subject: Intelligence (Page 35)

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.


Intelligence

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Intelligence

She has a photogenic memory.

Malaprops Memory

The only genius with an IQ of 60.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Insults Intelligence

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

(1932 – ) American biologist & educator
Intelligence Things

The people sensible enough to give good advice are usually sensible enough to give none.

(1862 – 1960) English writer
Intelligence People Wisdom

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

He must have been an incredibly good shot.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Intelligence

I don’t know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence Mind Science/Weather

It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten; they’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

Intelligence Stupidity

Germs attack people where they're weakest – which is why there are so many head colds.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Intelligence

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books Communication Memory Reading/Writing

One thing that humbles me deeply is to see that human genius has its limits while human stupidity does not.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Intelligence Stupidity

He that has a secret to hide should not only hide it but hide that he has it to hide.

(1795 – 1881) Scottish philosopher, writer, historian & teacher
Intelligence

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Fools Intelligence Stupidity

I remember your name perfectly, but I just can’t think of your face.

(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Intelligence Misspokements

Look, I don’t know shit about shit but I know right from wrong!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
Intelligence

There are four things that hold back human progress – ignorance, stupidity, committees and accountants.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant
Intelligence Situations Stupidity

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Doctors Fools Intelligence