Subject: Intelligence (Page 35)

He would come in and say he changed his mind… which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Intelligence Language Mind

He is so stupid… he thought Johnny Cash was a pay toilet.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Government Memory Situations

I do try to fight ignorance and stereotypes and racism with karate – like the Asians do.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Activities Intelligence

There is no proposition, no matter how foolish, for which a dozen Nobel signatures cannot be collected.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so variously and offensively daft… he makes me tired.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Insults Intelligence

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Emotions Intelligence

There are more fools than wise men, and even in a wise man there is more folly than wisdom.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Fools Intelligence Wisdom

Other things being equal, it is better to be smart than to be stupid.

(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author
Intelligence Stupidity

Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Intelligence Speech

The cure for boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Intelligence

If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better.

Education Intelligence Murphy’s Laws School

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws Women

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics Intelligence Problems

Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Body Mind Problems

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

Books are for people who don't have ideas of their own.

(1984 – ) American stand-up comedian
Books Communication Ideas Intelligence

Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.

Intelligence Proverbs Wisdom

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Age Intelligence Old People

People say it’s easy to make fun of retarded people, but it’s not… you really have to explain it to them.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Intelligence People