Subject: Intelligence (Page 38)

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government Intelligence

No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence Men People Sex

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Fools Intelligence Places

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there’s scarcely a hole in it anywhere.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults Intelligence Stupidity

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

(1930 – ) American baseball player
Education Intelligence

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

An original idea can never emerge from committee in the original.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter

People ask stupid questions for a reason.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

A coach isn't as smart as people say he is when he's wins, or as stupid as when he loses.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Intelligence Sports

I was at a party a couple of weeks ago, talking to this guy about the Gaza Strip; he thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conversation People Stupidity Things

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Family Memory People Relationships

Am I getting smart with you? … how would you know?

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Intelligence

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten; they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

(1930 – 1977) German teacher
Intelligence People

No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.

(1891 – 1941) Canadian physician & physiologist
Appearance Clothing Ideas Intelligence

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Intelligence People

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Ideas Intelligence