Subject: Intelligence (Page 4)

I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Intelligence

The measure of a bird dog's intelligence can be determined by the length of time it takes to resign yourself to his way of thinking.

Animals Dogs Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, OK, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence People Women

A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Intelligence

I ain’t in a happy frame of mood.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Emotions Happiness Malaprops Mind

Never argue with a fool… people might not know the difference.

Fools Murphy’s Laws

I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas; I’m frightened of old ones.

(1912 – 1992) American composer, writer & artist
Ideas Intelligence

Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Arms Ideas Intelligence

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Memory

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Intelligence

My wife’s not smart, you know? She used to reach inside her bra to count to two.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Characteristics Intelligence

It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.

(1928 – 1982) American novelist, short story writer & essayist
Beliefs Intelligence Mind

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Intelligence Memory

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication Intelligence Politicians

Look at him and you'd think he's 16… talk to him and you think he's 26; talk baseball with him, and you'd think he's 36.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive
Baseball Intelligence Sports

You can't fix stupid; there’s not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Stupidity

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

Remember that not all the faculty have all their faculties.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws