Subject: Intelligence (Page 41)

[George W.] Bush doesn’t know the names of countries, he doesn’t know the names of foreign leaders, he can’t even find the Earth on a globe.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Intelligence People

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Intelligence Stupidity

A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Memory Speech

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.

(1949 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Fools Intelligence

If I ever saw bat shit, I’d be like, ‘that’s crazy.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Intelligence Situations

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter

This neurotic pursuit of sanity is driving us all crazy.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Intelligence

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
Intelligence Memory

A situation in which a desired outcome or solution is impossible to attain because of a set of inherently illogical rules.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Idiot: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Definitions Intelligence People

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Insults Intelligence

It is safe to wager that every public idea and every accepted convention is sheer foolishness, because it has suited the majority.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Intelligence Stupidity

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Horse sense is what prevents a woman from becoming a nag.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Intelligence Marriage Wives

You might be a redneck if… your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks Stupidity

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

(1873 – 1945) a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist
Insults Intelligence