Subject: Intelligence (Page 42)

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

I constantly walk into a room and I don’t remember why.; but for some reason, I think there’s going to be a clue in the fridge.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Intelligence Memory

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults Intelligence Money

My old man was dumb, he picked a guy’s pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Intelligence

Germs attack people where they're weakest – which is why there are so many head colds.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Intelligence

I suffer fools gladly because I am one of them.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Fools Intelligence People Self

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Intelligence Language Self

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.

(1844 – 1912) Scottish poet, novelist & literary critic
Communication Intelligence Science/Weather

Personally, I’m waiting for caller IQ.

(1955 – ) American comedian, singer, actress & author
Intelligence People Things

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Age Intelligence Old People

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence Life Money

The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent.

(1926 – 2009) Irish dramatist, television writer & essayist
Insults Intelligence

Recollect: To recall with additions something not previously known.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Memory

Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
Characteristics Intelligence

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.

author
Intelligence Wisdom

Sharp as a sack full of wet mice.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Intelligence

A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.

(1820 – 1903) English philosopher
Government Intelligence Law People

The General is suffering from mental saddle sores.

(1874 – 1952) administrator & politician
Insults Intelligence

Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Fools Intelligence Marriage Men Women