Subject: Intelligence (Page 42)

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Fools

I've been doing some extremely abstract paintings… no paint, no canvas; I just think about it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Art Entertainment Thinking

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Taxes Understanding World

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive; it only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Intelligence

A liar should have a good memory.

Memory Murphy’s Laws People

Having imagination it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that if you were unimaginative would take you only a minute.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing Time

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Characteristics Intelligence

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

(1934 – ) writer & editor
Intelligence People Places Science/Weather Stupidity

Only one percent of the oil pollution in the sea is the result of oil drilling, while 63 percent is the result of natural seepage on the ocean floor.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Intelligence Old People

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Intelligence People Thinking Time

There is a distinct difference between having an open mind and having a hole in your head from which your brain leaks out.

(1928 – ) Canadian stage magician, skeptic & opponent of pseudoscience
Intelligence

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it.

Intelligence Wisdom

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Intelligence Love