Subject: Intelligence (Page 44)

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Fools Intelligence Wisdom

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Intelligence Life Places Science/Weather

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent full of doubt.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Fools Intelligence

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Intelligence People

Couldn't scratch his ass if he had a tiger in both hands.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

A fool and your money are soon partners.

Fools Money Murphy’s Laws

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

 Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river where the average depth was only three feet.

college football coach
Facts Intelligence Sports

Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Reading/Writing

A little ignorance can go a long way.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the priviledge.

Insults Intelligence

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

(1948 – ) English rock vocalist & songwriter
Intelligence Mind

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence Problems Stupidity

Psychic: An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons.

American author
Fools Intelligence Money

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

professional basketball player
Age Body Intelligence Misspokements Sports

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

Insults Intelligence

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

He has left off reading altogether, to the great improvement of his originality.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School