Subject: Intelligence (Page 44)

These guys from the nation's capital… now they do a lot of thinking.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Government Intelligence Thinking

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?

American stand-up comedian
Age Intelligence Memory Old

I told her the thing I loved most about her was her mind… because that's what told her to get into bed with me naked.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Mind Sex

Now there's a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals Insults Intelligence

… New Jersey?

(1973 – ) American actress
Intelligence Misspokements Places

The trouble isn’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn’t distributed right.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Intelligence Science/Weather

A middling mind always benefits from a lack of competition.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence

I think the Japanese are smart people – stereotypically so.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence People

He couldn’t grow pole beans in a pile of horse shit.

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Most people don't act stupid: it's the real thing!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Fools Intelligence

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature; and another woman to help him forget them.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Intelligence Memory Men People Women

American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Intelligence Misspokements Stupidity

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Communication Conversation Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Speech

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Intelligence

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws Women

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Intelligence Men Thinking

It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs.

(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Insults Intelligence

If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.

(1956 – ) American lawyer & novelist
Insults Intelligence

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults Intelligence

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

Intelligence Memory Murphy’s Laws

Psychic: An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons.

American author
Fools Intelligence Money