Subject: Intelligence (Page 45)

You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

If “sense” is so common, how come we don’t see more of it around?

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea.

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from The Beverly Hillbillies.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

A face unclouded by thought.

(1905 –1984) American playwright

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Books are for people who don't have ideas of their own.

(1984 – ) American stand-up comedian

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Recollect: To recall with additions something not previously known.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Sam, I’m very impressed. That’s a complex psychological concept coming from a man who has to write “L” and “R” on the bottom of his shoes.

(1949 – ) American actress

Psychic: An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons.

American author

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

The conclusions of most good operations research studies are obvious.