Subject: Intelligence (Page 45)

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

Evil and stupidity are randomly distributed.

Consistence requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.

1865 – 1959) American art historian

No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

The distance between many people’s ears is a block.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

(1533 – 1592) French writer

A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.

(1688 – 1744) English poet

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

My father was stupid; he worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.

(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Sanity is a madness put to good use.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist