Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Intelligence
(Page 45)
The distance between many people’s ears is a block.
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
Mad
, an American humor magazine
Intelligence
Humankind cannot stand very much reality.
T.S. Eliot
(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Intelligence
People
Reality
Oh good, now he’ll be bi-ignorant.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Communication
Insults
Intelligence
Language
On Texas Governor Bill Clements learning Spanish
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
Barnett Cocks
British clerk of the House of Commons
Ideas
Intelligence
Committees
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Beckhap's Law
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Beauty
Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.
Albert Camus
(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Intelligence
Stupidity
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
Jimmy Buffett
(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics
Intelligence
Problems
Indecision
Intimacy: A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Fools
Intimacy
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
Michel de Montaigne
(1533 – 1592) French writer
Intelligence
Memory
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Ideas
Misunderstanding
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Publilius Syrus
(85–43 BC) Latin writer
Communication
Fools
Intelligence
Speech
When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.
Ulmann's Razor
Intelligence
Murphy’s Laws
Stupidity
Explanation
The Irish people do not gladly suffer common sense.
Oliver Joseph St John Gogarty
(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Intelligence
People
Places
Common sense
Ireland
He couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T.
Thomas ‘Hollywood’ Henderson
Football
Intelligence
Sports
On Terry Bradshaw’s intellect
One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.
Franklin Jones
(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Intelligence
Memory
Forgiving
The bulk of mankind is as well equipped for flying as thinking.
Jonathan Swift
(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Intelligence
People
Thinking
She has breasts of granite and a mind like a Gruyere cheese.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Appearance
Body
Insults
Mind
Breasts
Granite
Marilyn Monroe
Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
Wisdom
Philosophy
Personally, I’m waiting for caller IQ.
Sandra Bernhard
(1955 – ) American comedian, singer, actress & author
Intelligence
People
Things
Telephones
It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence
Knowledge
Empty vessels make most noise.
Proverb
Fools
Intelligence
Bragging
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