Subject: Intelligence (Page 45)

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant; it's that they know so much that ain't so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Intelligence People

He ain’t got enough sense to poor piss out of a boot.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

We all are born mad; some remain so.

(1906 –1989) Irish novelist, playwright, theatre director & poet
Intelligence

When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Autos Fools Things

I told her the thing I loved most about her was her mind… because that's what told her to get into bed with me naked.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Mind Sex

If there is a substitute for brains it has to be silence.

(1874 – 1962) American politician & U.S. senator (Arizona)
Intelligence

I think – therefore I'm single.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Intelligence Marriage

If you run out of sound judgment, borrow.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter
Intelligence

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Intelligence Situations Wisdom

Most people don't act stupid: it's the real thing!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Fools Intelligence

Whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Intelligence Speech

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence People Stupidity

You can always tell when a man’s well-informed… his views are pretty much like yours.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Intelligence

Decisions are justified by the benefits to the organization, but they are made by considering the benefits to the decision-makers.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence People Stupidity

There is a distinct difference between having an open mind and having a hole in your head from which your brain leaks out.

(1928 – ) Canadian stage magician, skeptic & opponent of pseudoscience
Intelligence

Psychic: An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons.

American author
Fools Intelligence Money

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government Intelligence Politicians

History would be an excellent thing, if only it were true.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
History Intelligence Time

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Intelligence