Subject: Intelligence (Page 8)

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Intelligence Sex

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter

The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country… and we haven’t seen them since.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
America Intelligence Places

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Fools Intelligence Money

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence

Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead.

(1892 – 1970) American writer
Intelligence

Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Body Intelligence Sports

Germs attack people where they're weakest – which is why there are so many head colds.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Intelligence

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.


Intelligence Thinking

Put it out of your mind; in no time, it will be a forgotten memory.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Intelligence Memory Misspokements

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park a bike.

(1918 – 1996) U.S. vice president & politician
Intelligence People

Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Intelligence Speech

It’s difficult to remember when you haven’t played it before.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Intelligence Memory Misspokements Music

Anything too stupid to be said is sung.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Entertainment Intelligence Stupidity

A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.

(1820 – 1903) English philosopher
Government Intelligence Law People

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Intelligence Stupidity

Nature never makes any blunders, when she makes a fool she means it.

(1772 – 1851) American Presbyterian theologian & professor
Fools Intelligence Mistakes Problems

Some people fish in the Sea of Life without bait.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Stupidity

He don't know shit from peach butter.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity