Subject: Intelligence (Page 9)

One who has a clear conscience has a foggy memory.

Intelligence Memory

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals; she thought we just fought in world war eleven.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence War

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

An original idea… that can’t be too hard; the library must be full of them.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Ideas Intelligence

The Irish people do not gladly suffer common sense.

(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Intelligence People Places

My wife’s not smart, you know? She used to reach inside her bra to count to two.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence

He] had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Intelligence Mind

No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence Men People Sex

I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.

(1890 – 1949) American actor
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.

professional basketball player
Age Body Intelligence Misspokements Sports

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… prepare to die.

Intelligence Proverbs Wisdom

If brains were all that important in a beauty contest, you could enter wearing a Hefty Bag.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Appearance Body Intelligence

A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.

(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

Last night I was having dinner with Charles Manson, and in the middle of dinner he turned to me and said, "Is it hot in here, or am I crazy?"

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence

I think the world is run by C students.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
Basketball Intelligence Sports

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

(1873 – 1945) a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist
Insults Intelligence

She reminds me of Paul Revere's ride – a little light in the belfry.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence Stupidity

Jazz: Music invented by demons for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman
Entertainment Fools Intelligence Music