Subject: Life (Page 13)

The nearest approach to immortality on earth is a government bureau.

(1879 – 1972) U.S. governor (South Carolina)

As you slide down the banister of life, you are bound to pick up a splinter or two in your arse.

Australian horse trainer

Living well is the best revenge.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

Anyone who lives within his means suffers from a lack of imagination.

(1908 – 1994) American actor

Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

(1956 – ) American comedian

No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap.

(1953 – ) American comedian, writer & actor

I had everything a kid could want: two square meals a day, a basket to sleep in, and an imaginary dog.

(1949 – ) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

To live is to dance… to dance is to live.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

(1889 – 1977) English comedian, actor & film director

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems than you have to.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic

If I had my life to live over, I wouldn't have time.

(1936 – 1992) singer, songwriter, musician & actor

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Here’s a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress